Boyfriends for Sale: Anti-Valentine’s Day Edition

anti-valentines-day-metal-playlistWe’ve all gotten sick of the hearts and flowers at one point or another. Eventually the retail exploitation of “love” is nauseating and the splashes of red and pink is migraine-inducing. No, you don’t want to watch The Notebook with a glass of champagne this Valentine’s Day. You want to watch The Walking Dead with a shot of whiskey. Well, Valentine’s Day haters, there are love stories even for you out there.

Valentine’s Day of the Undead by Stacey Jay 41mmb1k14ol-_sx331_bo1204203200_

Genre: Teen/Supernatural/Romance

Word Count: 17, 480

Average Goodreads Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Q: What could be worse than spending Valentine’s Day alone?

A: Spending it with evil zombies!!

Megan Berry is no stranger to heartbreak, but spending Valentine’s Day serving other happy couples hot dogs while mourning the loss of her one true love is almost more than even a highly trained Zombie Settler can handle. So when her recently estranged boyfriend, Ethan, texts her asking her to be his Valentine, she ditches her bodyguard and rushes to his side.

But soon, Megan’s dreams of chocolates, flowers, and lingering make-up kisses take a turn of the rotted-corpse-and-maggot variety, and Megan fears that her first Valentine’s Day with Ethan may be her last.

This book is available for $2.99 at Smashwords and for $6.25 through Indiebound.

Louis Hates Valentine’s Day by Sue Brown51bauyaaaol-_sx298_bo1204203200_

Genre: Contemporary/LGBTQ

Word Count: 9, 320

Average Goodreads Rating: 3.31 out of 5 stars

Originally published in It’s Raining Men anthology February 2013

Louis hates Valentine’s Day. He hates it with a passion he reserves for Marmite and footballers’ wives. Louis is also a florist and Valentine’s Day is his nemesis, turning his fingers into pin-cushions to make bouquets for men who give red roses to their wives and then ignore them for the rest of year.

Louis hates Valentine’s Day. No one gives him flowers. The only customer he likes is Arnie who buys a new bouquet every week. Arnie gives Louis a chance to explore his love of floriography; the language of flowers. It never occurs to Louis that maybe he isn’t listening to what Arnie is trying to say.

This story is available on Smashwords for 99 cents.

417cqyexkwl-_sx319_bo1204203200_Hating Valentine’s Day by Alison Rushby

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Page Count: 400

Average Goodreads Rating: 3.06 out of 5 stars

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I hate Valentine’s Day…
Just like you.

One of the top wedding photographers in town, Liv Hetherington, steadfastly single, hates Valentine’s Day. This year she’s putting her foot down and has vowed there’ll be no dinner party set-ups, speed-dating frenzies or any other form of accidental dating organized by her father, flatmate or best friend.

Liv’s ecstatic, to say the least. Now she can concentrate on more important things like setting up her own studio and polishing off her Dickens collection. But are relationships really not for her? Drew, the new man in Liv’s life, would beg to differ. As would Cupid, who’s had enough of Liv being stubbornly single…

Valentine’s Day…bah, humbug. Or is that about to change?

Zombie Films on Valentine’s Day by Emily Gould 13231971-_uy475_ss475_

Genre: Contemporary/LGBTQ

Word Count: 3,810

Average Goodreads Rating: 2.29 out of 5 stars

There’s nothing worse than spending Valentine’s Day without a date, or so Alec believes—and all his friends agree. Desperate not to spend the night alone, he tries asking everyone he knows to hang out with him, even going to so far as to ask a member of his awful band to hang out for the night. Anything, after all, must be better than spending Valentine’s Day alone.

This book is available on Smashwords for $1.49. 

51r1ea93gal-_sx331_bo1204203200_Valentine’s Day Sucks by Juli Alexander

Genre: Paranormal/Teen

Word Count: 25,770

Average Goodreads Rating: 3.83 out of 5 stars

Who would have thought that a night of babysitting could change her life forever?

Since his little sister bit her in November, Matt Johnson has kept her alive. Only Natalie could have a hot guy climb through her bedroom window every night and have it mean absolutely nothing romantic. Natalie works hard to hide her crush on Matt because the last thing this newly-turned vampire needs to deal with is a broken heart. Her insecurities about Matt come to a head when the mothers insist on them going to the Valentine’s dance together. Will this Valentine’s Day suck worse than all her previous Valentine’s days?

This book is available on Smashwords  for free! 

The Trouble With Valentine’s Day by Rachel Gibson9780060009267_p0_v1_s192x300

Genre: Contemporary

Page Count: 368 pages

Average Goodreads Rating: 3.95 out of 4 stars

It’s the one day each year when being single is a sin . . .

The Trouble With Valentine’s Day?

It just plain stinks!

Kate Hamilton should know. Dumped by her boyfriend, burnt out by her job, she’s returned to Gospel, Idaho, where a Mountain Momma Crafters’ original poetry reading is about as good as it gets on a Friday night. Then her first attempted seduction of a hunky stranger is completely rejected. So much for her self-esteem!

It turns out that Rob Sutter, former ice hockey madman, owner of Sutter’s Sports—and the hunky stranger who told her to get lost—has been more than burned by love and isn’t looking for a relationship. But then he and Kate find themselves in an ultra-compromising position in the M&S Market after-hours, giving the phrase “clean up in aisle five” a whole new meaning, and causing a whole lot of gossip in Gospel . . .

This book is available for $6.99 through Indiebound

All of the links in this post are affiliate links (except the ones for free books, of course) so I get a small commission if you purchase one of these books, but at no additional cost to you. By purchasing through one of my affiliate links, you are enabling my addiction to fair trade chocolate, buying more books, and giving to charity. 

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